Thomas P. Valenti
2 min readJan 12, 2024

From the perspective of a Stoic, examining Adler’s statement on practicing self-acceptance presents a fascinating juxtaposition of ancient wisdom and modern psychology. Stoicism, a philosophy deeply rooted in the acceptance of things beyond our control, aligns harmoniously with Adler’s emphasis on self-acceptance. The core of Stoicism teaches us to focus on our own actions and attitudes, rather than external events or the opinions of others. This dovetails with Adler’s perspective that while we should recognize and embrace our imperfections, we should not allow them to impede our progress.

In the realm of Stoicism, the dichotomy of control is a fundamental principle. It teaches us to distinguish between what is in our control — our thoughts, beliefs, and actions — and what isn’t, like the past, the actions of others, and our inherent characteristics. Adler’s counsel to accept ourselves aligns with this principle. By accepting who we are, including our flaws, we are acknowledging the aspects of ourselves that we cannot change. This acceptance is not a form of resignation but a starting point for growth and improvement.

Moreover, Stoicism promotes the idea of continual self-improvement, which echoes Adler’s view that self-acceptance does not preclude personal development. A Stoic understands that perfection is an unattainable ideal; instead, the focus is on becoming a better version of oneself, day by day. This process involves acknowledging our faults, not to chastise ourselves, but to understand our current state and the path we need to take towards improvement.

Self-acceptance, from a Stoic viewpoint, also involves recognizing the role of external factors in shaping who we are. Our environment, upbringing, and experiences play significant roles in our development. However, Stoicism teaches us to look inward for contentment and fulfillment, rather than seeking external validation. This introspection leads to a more authentic self-acceptance, as we understand and embrace our true nature, independent of societal expectations or pressures.

Adler’s idea of not letting our imperfections hold us back resonates with the Stoic attitude towards obstacles. In Stoicism, obstacles are not impediments but opportunities for growth and learning. When we accept ourselves, including our flaws, we are better positioned to turn challenges into stepping stones for personal development. This perspective transforms our approach to life’s difficulties, encouraging resilience and a proactive attitude.

In conclusion, from a 21st-century Stoic perspective, Adler’s emphasis on self-acceptance is not only compatible but also complementary to Stoic teachings. Both advocate for an understanding and acceptance of oneself as a foundation for improvement and personal growth. They encourage us to focus on what is within our control, use our imperfections as catalysts for development, and find strength in our internal resources. This harmonious blend of ancient Stoic wisdom and Adlerian psychology offers a timeless approach to personal fulfillment and resilience in the face of life’s challenges.

Thomas P. Valenti

Conflict resolution practitioner; certified mediator, AAA neutral, mediation, arbitration, facilitation.